- “Seriously. What are you doing?”
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An oil, on the scalp, three times a week.
About a millilitre, which is a couple of drops worked over the whole head, on damp hair after washing. Two or three minutes of massage, and then the day starts.
That is the entire answer. It is why nobody volunteers it at a table: it does not sound like enough to explain anything.
- “No pills. No clinic.”
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Nothing swallowed, nothing prescribed, nothing that needs an appointment or a waiting room.
It goes on the skin under the hair and it stays there. A man can keep a bottle in a drawer for years and never once have to mention it, which for most of us is half of the appeal.
Nobody at this table has a problem. One of them has a question.
- “Why the scalp? The hair is the point.”
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The hair you can see is finished work.
It was made under the skin months ago, and nothing you put on the length changes what it was made from. The skin is the part still in production.
Plenty about a head of hair is settled somewhere else and not by an oil. The condition of the skin it comes out of is the piece a man can still keep in order from the outside, and it is the piece almost nobody attends to.
- “So what is in it?”
-
Eight botanical oils and vitamin E.
Nine ingredients, and all nine are printed on the label. Jojoba is close enough to what the skin already makes that the blend goes in instead of sitting on top of it. Rosemary and peppermint move the blood at the root. Castor and batana are heavy and stay for hours. Coconut goes into the fibre itself. The vitamin E keeps the blend from turning.
- “Does it show? On a pillowcase, in an office?”
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It goes on damp and it is gone by morning.
This is the objection that ends most oils before they ever get a fair run, and it is a fair objection: a man who wakes up to a marked pillowcase quits on the second night and never gives the category another try.
- “And if it does nothing for me?”
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Then it costs you nothing.
90 DAYS. IF IT DIDN'T WORK, THE MONEY COMES BACK. NOTHING GOES BACK TO US.
You keep the bottle and whatever is left in it. The first of it, more shine, more softness, better body, tends to show somewhere between the fourth and the sixth week, which leaves the better part of those 90 days to decide rather than to wait.
Those three are the receipt, not the promise. What a man is buying is that a year from now, the question at the top of this page still gets asked.
- “Then why have I never heard of it?”
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Because nobody at your table advertises it either.
It is not on a supermarket shelf, it is not sold with a countdown, and the men who use it tend to answer this question the way the man at the club answered it, which is to say badly, and then change the subject.
- “What does it cost?”
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The number is one click away, on the other side of this page.
It is not a small number and it was never meant to be.
Men who ask this one across a table are usually not asking about the number. They are asking whether it is the sort of thing they would be comfortable being caught buying. It is.
It packs with the watch, and nobody has ever asked what it is.